Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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