So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
