This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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