Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
