Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.

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  (248): did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there. http://tfl.nu/0o4m
  Replies (6) Good night (1248) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..

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  (212): I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York.. http://tfl.nu/qpq0
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  so... how was it???

  (317): View more from Indiana

  he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy

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  (812): so... how was it??? (317): he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy http://tfl.nu/a6k1
  Replies (14) Good night (471) Bad night (2808)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I am SOOO high

  (830): View more from Texas

  tell me about your high

  (214): View more from Texas

  HUGE THUMBTACKS

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  (214): I am SOOO high (830): tell me about your high (214): HUGE THUMBTACKS http://tfl.nu/kz11
  Replies (13) Good night (5494) Bad night (673)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping

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  (401): and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping http://tfl.nu/w61z
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.

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  (571): the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans. http://tfl.nu/yvak
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  (760): View more from California

  blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.

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  (760): blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be. http://tfl.nu/1ded
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.

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  (613): at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner. http://tfl.nu/n8w7
  Replies (7) Good night (3324) Bad night (685) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?

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  (918): Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet? http://tfl.nu/ki3z
  Replies (5) Good night (4475) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up

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  (630): I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up http://tfl.nu/11fq
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.

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  (507): All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different. http://tfl.nu/qt7m
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly

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  (678): I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly http://tfl.nu/mkzb
  Replies (6) Good night (3000) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.

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  (508): he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him. http://tfl.nu/d83n
  Replies (4) Good night (1733) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??

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  (502): What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."?? http://tfl.nu/h07e
  Replies (25) Good night (1344) Bad night (2520) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.

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  (414): Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside. http://tfl.nu/lx27
  Replies (3) Good night (601) Bad night (239)

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