You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
