this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
