turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
