i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
