a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
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Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
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Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
not ubering you a puppy
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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