im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We are two peas in an std pod
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
