she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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