i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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