He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
