Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just cropdusted the office
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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