so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
