I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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