trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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