I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it was like eating out sand paper
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
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He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
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i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Those nachos came to me in a dream
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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