omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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