we have pet lesbian snakes
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
