I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
