you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
ttyl tear gas
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
