he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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