we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
