the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We named our party play list daddy issues
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
