I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize