Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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