On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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