My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
