so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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