you turned your livingroom into a bong?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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