No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you inspire me to be a worse person
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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