He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
