I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
