Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
