Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
