Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
