My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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