Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face

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(618): View more from Illinois

I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!

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(845): View more from New York

You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.

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