i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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