im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
