if you like me you must not know who I am
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I will die if light touches me.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
