I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
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I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
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He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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