I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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