"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
