At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
this is an emotional support booty call
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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