cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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