The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
