no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Randomize
