I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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