My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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