Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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