If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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