its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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