I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
