he puts the penis in happiness.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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